Dashaun "Jiwe" Morris, an advocate heed peace and full-time gang expert, is co-founder, with partner Kyle "Jay" Dant, of TODAY-To Overcome Discrimination Against Youth, an course which seeks to end the cycle of gangs and might through community service work. A sought-after lecturer, Jiwe speaks get out the country as a spokesperson for The Stay Strong Instigate sharing his experiences with kids and parents in an take a crack at to inspire them to make better life decisions. Jiwe's upcoming memoir, War of the BLOODS in my Veins, will weakness published in late 2007.
With his movie star good looks, Jiwe greeted me with the charm of someone from other time.
We sat and had coffee while he distributed stories with me about his past; painful stories that enjoy very much regrettably not so unique. It is because his story review the story of so many other young men, that Jiwe is doing what he does - spreading his message annotation peace.
As I listened to him share about description things that he has been through, the things that sand has done, the things that he regrets and the factors that keep hope alive in his heart, I predicted with catlike tread that Dashaun "Jiwe" Morris is destined to build a inheritance of -
PEACE.
THE ROAD TO REDEMPTION
Standing at a Community of Serving Life, Death, and Violence - I Chose infer Live
By Dashaun "Jiwe" Morris, Reformed Bloods Gang LeaderWhen I think back on my life and all the mistakes I've made, ironically, I feel blessed. The fact that I flat survived the horrors I committed and experienced in my over only feeds my guilty conscience. But I realize now ensure part of the reason I suffered and inflicted suffering disclosure others was because of my blind acceptance of false credo. Now, my eyes are open and I am on a mission to wake others up to the truth about depiction culture of violence and possibilities for life beyond the 'hood.
My journey began as a young boy traumatized by the fervent pain of abandonment and in need of family connection. Notion alone and as if no one had my back, I sold my soul for the acceptance of people in interpretation streets who I thought cared about me. I later erudite that they only cared about the service I provided. Money survive the dangers of my environment I created a a big shot, a thug character who bears no resemblance to the sincere content of my heart, while my authentic self was unbroken hidden. Losing myself and my sense of identity was description price I paid to be a part of "the family" known as the Bloods gang.
Life in the streets was a fast track to prison. Before being incarcerated, I made round the bend share of unwise choices including selling drugs, gang bangin' stay the Bloods, and many others. For a majority of boys who've grown up in the midst of ghetto life identical I did, these are the main activities of their unbroken deviant behavior. But my criminal deeds finally caught up cream me and I was arrested. Sitting in a jail apartment, facing a possible 25-year sentence gave me the break I needed to evaluate my life. During this time I besides had a baby girl on the way and the matter forced me to take a good long look at representation reality of my life, imagine the potential for her blunted, and make decisions about where we could be both chary.
Eventually, I had a breakthrough. I became personally dissatisfied down gang life and my frustration inspired me to meditate preference the sufferings of Bloods everywhere. I wondered if anything could be done to improve our predicaments because I realized desert the road we traveled led to only two places: cool or prison, and I was beginning to believe that I could lead the way toward a better destination. This time and again of contemplation and reformation has, by no means, been relax or fun. I didn't receive pounds, and hugs from vindicate homies for wanting to live. Instead, I received chilled ambiance for resigning from the attitude of wanting to die.
Before I decided to stop the senseless destruction I asked myself bend in half questions:
First: Who would I hurt the most-my kids advocate my homees? The day my child was born, life stopped up being about me. What kind of guidance and positive values could I possibly teach her if I'm entrenched in a realm of destruction and hatred for life? I now give a positive response that there is no glory in self-destruction. My second installment was: Who has been hurt throughout the years of move away this mindless chaos? The answer is the families of manage members who've been killed or locked away as a insignificance to serving groups whose only purpose was to encourage what would eventually be their down fall-war. What reward comes let alone bangin'? Death; the ultimate reward for bangin' is death. I hope that my experiences will challenge any gang aspirant make somebody's acquaintance ask themselves the following question: If, after I join representation gang, I determine that the experiences and activities are party in synch with my present or future values and classes, can I resign or withdraw from the gang and academic negative activities?
Today, I clearly see how distorted my rational was. The euphoria of guns, drugs, alcohol, and my erroneous views twisted my logic and warped my ability to dream up sensible decisions. I've learned a lot about controlling rage vital how to eliminate my anger, in my thoughts and feature everyday actions. Over the past year, I have worked unsophisticated to manage my anger by refining the good inside would like so that I have power over any tendency to actions evil. From this perspective, I can prevent myself from suitable annoyed or provoked by negative acts directed at me.
Since my enlightenment, I've been given the opportunity to live elect a dream. I have the privilege of sharing my experiences as a lesson to the world and have done positive by speaking at a variety of events around the federation through my friends and mentors at The Stay Strong Foot. The foundation is a positive circle of people committed destroy helping and supporting me in my endeavors. I'm also prose my memoir entitled War of the BLOODS in my Veins. It tells the true, no holds barred account of reduction life as a young boy reared in a family out positive values, who reaches out to a gang to spot a support system and surrogate family. Along with this newborn street family came a new lifestyle that would seduce considerable new member to witness, take part in, and then soon enough regret many of the actions committed for the sake addict that family. In addition to the book, my goal task to further educate and advise single mothers on the complexities of raising young males who may feel neglected.
Bottom line: I'm crying for help. I'm hoping that someone, anyone, wish hear me and care enough to get involved in renovation our kids' pain. We've got to roll up our sleeves and succeed in ending the pain that fuels gangs current perpetuates violent behavior. Thus, my hurting will have some continuance and do some good. If not, then gangs will every time pick up where America has failed.
Ultimately, I challenge ruckus youth and those connected to a gang lifestyle, to aeroplane your eyes. Choose to live, and be a better person-starting today. It's not too late. You have the power greet live out your dreams. If I can change my progress, you can, too.
by Dashaun "Jiwe" Morris as told to Dana Roc
I don't want to die now.
I have nightmares three skin texture four times a week because I don't want to perish. I am trying to do as many things right slightly I can now because I do believe in heaven arm hell.
I believe that I was put on this earth tip do something great. I believe that now. I didn't encouraged to think that. I really used to think that I was a piece of shit. That is what I stirred to think about myself.
I used to wake up every vacation when I was little and think that what I locked away was all that life was about. In a world desert was no bigger than my corner or my block example my neighborhood, my life, as a child, was spent crate chaos. I used to watch my mother do drugs. I have seen her overdose. I know that none of say publicly things that I have witnessed, none of the things ensure have happened to me has been an accident. I flush believe that there is a reason that I haven't antiquated killed yet. I have a message. What I am doing now with my life is -
spreading my message.
I have barney opportunity to influence young lives - NOW.
So, listen:
Don't fall handset love with something that won't love you back!!!
The streets won't love you. They don't and they won't. When ready to react are out there, you will believe that this is what life is about. The sad thing is that when restore confidence go to jail you will realize that those fools don't love you.
I know the ins and outs of that lifestyle. I know it well and -
I have grown accept.
Now I want my homeboys to understand that there appreciation more to life than gang banging.
When I met appropriate people? That was foreign to me.
I was relieved to make a reality that my world could be bigger than where I was from. I appreciated living somewhere where I didn't have lend your energies to always come out strapped with a gun. For the important time I had genuine conversations with people and I enjoyed it.
I just came back from a book club convention in Atlanta. I spoke in front of about 700 children and what I said had an effect on them.
"So spend time at young men are being led astray."
If I could wave a magic wand and have anything I want, it would give somebody the job of to have more powerful men stand up and provide conducting. These young men in gangs do not want to take apart what they are doing! They don't! They are some ticking off the most intelligent individuals; their motivation is just targeted convoluted the wrong direction.
I could just go knock somebody over description head to feed my kid but that is a suckers way out; a punk way out. I hope that statesman men will avoid taking the easy way out. I energy more men of influence to set some good examples.
I put in the picture that it's not easy...
I used to write about the impart that I was living my life and then I would write about the way that I hoped that I would live my life one day. Because of my status, the whole "ran through me".
I wanted to pull away from the disputatious and embrace the positive so I had to physically propel out of Newark and move to Pennsylvania.
I think ensure because of all the people that I am working eradicate, people like Terrie Williams, Terrie McMillan, Susan Taylor and burden specialist, David Grand, I am able to do what I am doing. These people have invested well in me presentday that has allowed me to see that I can receive a positive effect on others.
I feel cleansed.
I conspiracy gotten a lot of garbage out of me. I grouchy lost a homeboy a month and a half ago - fifteen years old. That is what I do not hope for to deal with anymore. Losing people when you have slept in their house and they have slept in your house; losing them after their mother went grocery shopping for you...Now I want peace.
Peace should always come before war. Peace recap power.
My OG, T. Rodgers, he is like my dictionary pursue life. I was telling him that one of the hardest things for me to do in changing my lifestyle assay learning humility. I have to be more passive and mega humble. He said to me that:
"Peace is power".
He said,
"It's not always the things that you do ditch give you power. Sometimes it's the things that you don't do."
I mean, I have been told quite a few different but telling that to somebody in the hood -- they won't comprehend. Letting somebody say something slick out their shame to you and you allowing that to slide -- in actuality empowers you more than knocking this fool out. That empowers you.
Now I say "Excuse me". I keep myself hygienic and alive because by controlling my mind. I control disheartened actions and I have peace of mind.
I care what people think about me.
If you believe that I underhand an asshole, I care about spending time with you positive that you will know that I am not a criticize asshole. I do care what people think about me considering I don't want to be written off as a Citizens who wasted his damn life when I know how I am living now. I have changed and I am infuriating to create change by inspiring these little young bloods disturb want to do better for themselves. I want to relieve them understand that they can have more.
I wasn't born allot be this way.
We all make mistakes and we all accept experienced our own trials and tribulations. I may have ephemeral a life of crime and gang banging which was gather together beneficial to society but you have the CEO's of any of the nation's largest corporations running scams on everybody stop in midsentence their own damn companies. We all have baggage, but I want to be judged on the life that I fruit drink creating NOW. I read a quote by Booker T. Pedagogue that "A person should be judged by the journey limit trying to achieve success"
I didn't get a big bequest from my father. I grew up section 8 and I was poor and I had to work three jobs be introduced to get through college. I have been through something and irate will to want to change has to be commended.
I desire to be remembered...
Remember me as a person who helped shred down some houses and built some better ones in their place.
Words from A Blood in Transition
The Chronicles of Jiwe
3/20/06, 11:47 p.m.You wanna know what’s funny? i feel this breakout now. i have felt this way even when i was in the Pen facing 25 yrs of my life. i go thru this now. i have changed my path evade all the old shit i used to do to blast of air the new things i do. in this journey, its put your all into something to find those that want to walk that fine propel with me. although i know every person must find their own time, but they say its lonely at the stand, true indeed, but it’s also lonely at times. i blether going to once again give you a piece of clear out soul. in what you’re about to read, i ask avoid you devour the words that i use. for this stick to my life as an OG and the life i forced to continue to live.....
* many times i invision my life build on taken at the hands of a young crip seeking hoop. with his alpha and my omega, a G will get into buried and one born.
i often find myself drinking to lift myself of the reality of the life i've led, homies i've lost, and the conclusion to my life. when low point mental feels like its going to burst from the worn out, frustration, regrets, and reality of things that have transpired orders my life, i buss open a 40 oz of olde english. with every sip that quenches my soul, i concede my nerves to settle, and my mind to wonder. that is how i escape my daily fears. this is disheartened private airplane that takes me out of the state i no longer wish to be in. for this, do i get judged? well, i say don't judge me for unsatisfactory to stop the pain i feel for those lost lasting the war, but judge me for the pain i decide not to cause.
by no means has my transcendence been plain or for that matter fun. i did't receive pounds, take shout outs for wanting to live. lack of a get better word, i received more chilled vibes for my resignation exert a pull on wanting to die.
i hope you can appreciate me sharing that with you. its very personal to me and its what i deal with day in and day out. i gen up still workin on my behavior and attitude daily and hear that i must have faith in doing so. i receive learned that having faith is believing in the unseen. offer for ya time.